Fifty Five today.......

I have reached 55 today, a figure which was beyond conception when I was 15, and a distant target when I was 25. At 35, I forgot my Birthday and at 45, I got presents from my children. At 55, messages flow in from the mobile and Inbox and my favourite sweets from my sister and my special dishes from my mother-in-law. Chocolates flood in. as do the greeting cards,shirts, flowers and best wishes. Ranjana judiciously gives me money for shoes( wives have this uncanny knack of knowing what we need!!!).The Kolkata night lights seem a little more brighter, and the wind seems to bring in the tangy smell of the Hooghly river like never before. The smog is way below and at 3AM in the morning, quite a few stars speckle the night sky and the clouds part ever so often to show that the moonlight still remains mystical.

At fifty five, today, the memory net traps some moments again--glistening water drops hanging from a rain soaked washing line. My mother sitting on a mat on the roof top, reading a book, having finished her daily chores a few minutes ago. My father watching the fish being unladen in preparation for a family feast... Conversations with my sister on  our small verandah, as the local boys shouted during their evening football game. All of us playing rings on the rooftop...Family picnic at Diamond Harbour. Spreading a sataranchi and tiffin carriers at the Zoo Gardens and Victoria Memorial. The magician who came to my Birthday Party and brought out scarves from nowhere..The first days at school and College. The first cadaveric dissection and the Anatomy Hall smells..Playing cricket at the hallowed Eden Gardens . All India Radio studios and the musty smell of Gramophone records and the scratchy players...Doordarshan studios and the butterfly feeling in the stomach as you went "Live". Ranjana's hand in mine as we watched a glorious sunset at Gopalpur.

Vicky's first medal in Elocution and his "Achievement"smile. Boni, breathless and thrilled after her Bharatanatyam performance..

Vicky, Boni and Gulu devouring mountains of momos at Siliguri...

My first view of the majestic Teesta --so different from the Ganges on the plains....

As I sway under the weight of what has been, I see the skies changing colours once again--but the sunrise today is special. I am still curious enough to see what the daylight brings. Today is Holi--the day of revelry--but these are not happy times. I dream of a day, just one day in which there are no Traffic Injuries or deaths, Just one day when no one complains and no one falls sick. One day, when the suicide bombers take a break as do guns, tanks and marauding aircrafts. One day when everyone smiles needlessly and idiotically--but they do smile..Just one day--selfishly I say, my Birthday.

At 55, looking back is more easy than looking forward, but almost instinctively, I see this vast city of mine awakening to the endless possibilities.

Yes, I dream of the Impossible Dream in my quest to attain the Unreachable Heights....

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star......

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