Self Discovery

 

 

It is amazing how little we know about the person who is closest to us, who stays no matter what the circumstances are, and with whom you have to adjust with more than anybody else--your own self.

How often have we taken the time to look inwards, at ourselves, as to what we really are ? Caught up in the maelstrom of our daily existence, forced to perform at a certain level, day in and day out, and maintaining relationships with near and dear ones, or blindly watching television, we forget or subconsciously refuse to look deep within us. Fundamentally, we refuse to assess who we are, why are we here at this particular place at this particular time, and where we are going to.

All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

Is it necessary to do so? Why do we have to take a course which is occasionally painful, sometimes cruel and hurting, sometimes rewarding and finally so cleansing? Why not avoid it and settle cosily in our little niches? The answer is simple. Life and circumstances change.Crises will happen.Dangers will loom. Bereavement will come. Tears will be shed. There will be a crisis in belief, self doubts, a seeming inability to handle a situation. It is in these critical times, that your greatest asset is yourself. You can crucify yourself if you are at fault--but almost always you will find that you have been cleansed and you look at the world and yourself with a new vision. Friends and family will help, but the "buck stops here", in a lonely corner, or in a walk through the woods, or more likely on a bench in the park.

Sometimes to know yourself, you need to develop alternative interests. Some do gardening, some play on a musical instrument, some direct plays, some write, some travel etc. Some meditate, some philosophize, and some search for a meaning to life, and some take refuge in spirituality. I deliberately said "refuge", because most people abdicate the responsibility of changing ourselves to God or Godot, or whatever you may call Him. It is possible to change ourselves, and become calmer and more assured without depending on Him to do the job.

We hesitate to look at our successes. We introspect only when there is a threat to us. We do not look easily as to the times when we  achieved. But we need to do that. Recollect the problems that we solved. Recollect the decisions we took that turned out so right.   Remember when against all odds we pulled off a miraclous ,risky  plan, when in difficult circumstances, we stuck to our guns and restored a person to his rightful place in society.

The key question which we are afraid to ask but we must, is this--"Do we like ourselves? Are we comfortable with ourselves? Are we happy with our inner core?

Because that is the ultimate self discovery, the ultimate self realisation.

If we could eliminate "mine" from "me", then and then only we can realise the true "I". This is the main message from this song, marvellously rendered by Srikanta Acharya.

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Nababarsher Baithak

Our building Metro Heights is often called a Mini India. We celebrate six New Years--Chinese,English, Bengali, Sikh, Sindhi and Muslim.

That is fine, because all of us get to know different rituals,dances,customs and most excitingly, food. So the Bengali New Year was appropriately celebrated with the Nababorsher Baithak, in which Residents and their families and friends participated in the proceedings. The newly painted Community Hall was the venue. The decorations were deliberately kept simple. The arrangements, programme,food and budget was decided at only one informal meeting.The preparations were finished by the afternoon.

The proceedings started off at 6.30 Pm with a pint sized Dyuti rendering appropriately"Sabare Kori Aahban". The crowd started coming in.

 

Ms Amrita Ghosh is a lawyer,but she came out with a couple of topical songs including the Mohiner Ghoraguli number which had the crowd applauding.

Her accompanist Jo played a fusion piece in which he blended three Rabindrasangeets.

Dr.Biswanath Ghosh is a prolific Surgeon and his wife and daughter Gargi then took the stage with some beautiful Rabindrasangeet numbers. "Chinno Patay Sajai Tarani" was specially appreciated.

Subroto Sarkar dumped his cap of a Banker(DGM CAPS) and came up with a couple of songs including the nostalgic "Path Harabo Bolei Ebar Pathe Nemechi".

Sahana then came up in her well known forceful singing style.She sang a number of Rabindrasangeets, and "Purano Shei Diner Katha" had the whole audience joining in.

Amit Guha is an Orthopaedic Surgeon who has travelled the Bengal countryside with his troupe performing at roads, parks, makeshift stages and auditoriums. He came up with an excerpt from a play by Rabindranath and brought the house down. His son decided to give his father adequate support as you can see in the video!!!!!

Sanchita ,Amit's wife, sweetly rendered two Adhunik songs, one of them being the evergreen "Akash Pradeep Jwale".

We had kept Lipika Mukhopadhaya for the last. She was at her best today . Starting with the "Jag re, Jag Re" and then travelling effortlessly through Thungri, Tappa, Puratoni, Folk, Bhajan, Bhatiali and Shaari. Shaari is usually sung when fishermen row against the current while Bhatiali is sung more when they move with the water current.

As a baithak is incomplete without a poem, I had to write one in the early hours of the morning, and recite it as the concluding venture!!! Click on the play button on the kitten. 

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The food consisted of One paper packet(thonga) of Muri, Badam and Kacha Lonka, together with Tele Bhaja(Beguni, Aaloor Chop) and Singara, together with Bhare Cha!!!!!

The goodly audience of over a 100 persons enjoyed the proceedings.

Enjoying the Telebhaja!!!

Shubho Nababarsho to all !!!! Enjoy this final video.

 

Shubho Nababarsha!!!!

Nababarsha  has come, with a myriad colours and lights. To all my blog friends, I dedicate this card to you.

 

Tomorrow, I will write again. For now, I open my windows and breathe in the New Year, and gaze at the twinkling lights on the streets and bridges of my city. I savour the moment which is gone forever, never to come back again except as a memory. Pluto comes and nuzzles against my feet. This moment has also got to him!!!!

We sit together, Pluto and I , solemnly contemplating life from our different viewpoints.

What else but this Rabindrasangeet today......

Dariea Aacho Tumi ...

Mistakes!!!!

The most widely applicable cliche is "We all make mistakes", "To err is human", "Experience is a sum total of mistakes" etc. etc. And it is a fact that we all really do make mistakes.

Some mistakes are made under cover, i.e. in school or college or in training periods, where the fall out is usually not that direct on the individual. Some mistakes can be fatal, not only to oneself only.

'Drunk' policewoman crashes car, kills four Indians

Mon-Mar 23, 2009

New York / Press Trust of India

Four Indian IT students, including three girls, were killed and another was injured when an off-duty and apparently drunk policewoman crashed her car into their vehicle on a highway in the US State of Missouri.

Some mistakes never see the light of day.This applies specially to policemen, army personnel, gangsters and doctors--in fact all those who have partially or totally, a "Sanction to kill". These people live with their mistakes for their whole life. They thrust these incidents to the darkest corner of their souls, but they surface when they face themselves on some stormy nights, when the soul in a self cleansing act bares itself .

However the crucial issue is how you face mistakes. There are several types of reactions.

One is hiding the mistake, and hoping no one gets to seeing it.This occurs in daily life and one can get away with that most of the time. However, if this occurs in the workplace, you can rest assured that your "friends" will make it public and get the most out of it. Sometimes you do not even know that you have made the mistake, until it suddenly blows up in your face unexpectedly. In these cases it is important to reexamine the mistake and find out why it happened. Mistakes are the best way to learn--though it involves a lot of loss of face and prestige ,where years of diligent work can be wiped out instantly---as society  sometimes judges you by your mistakes and rarely by achievement.

Sometimes your mistake can be the work of intelligent framers. They will change their lines, modify the circumstances and hope that you are put into discomfiture so that they can get some benefits. So reexamining your mistakes are important. Find out whether you are REALLY responsible or not. And if you are not guilty, mark your enemy conspirators.

It is always best to admit your mistake and try and rectify it. Damages done cannot be easily undone. However time, your past and future sincerity will ultimately win the day. If remedial measures are possible, then the extra burden and time have to be fitted in and done.

It is best not to blame anyone else for your mistake. Though it is tempting to do so. If you have not been the victim of a conspiracy, and that is rare, then the acknowledgement of a mistake can help things move forward. However, if you have muffed the catch that cost you the World Cup, like Herschell Gibbs of South Africa did when he dropped Steve Waugh, you will never be able to rectify that. Perhaps Gibbs's alcoholism has its roots in that incident.

Finally ,never berate yourself, specially in public. There is a big difference between admitting your mistake and crucifying yourself again and again. More care, more concentration in work will help. But your past record cannot and never will be forgotten by a minor, doubtful allegation.

There are as many reasons for making  a mistake. Sometimes, it is because of carelessness, sometimes because of misinterpretation, sometimes out of hurriedness, sometimes out of not thinking it through properly. The reasons vary but when you do make that mistake, and you know that you should have known better, it can feel very depressing. But rest assured that you are not alone. In fact if you have never made a major mistake, you can be quite certain that one day you will.

This situation is probably the most challenging one in which to engage in positive  realistic thinking. However this is the time when it is critical that you control your thoughts. Be realistic about just how terrible the mistake really is. Chances are that no one has died as a result of your mistake.We have a tendency to label situations a disaster. But consider how disastrous the situation really truthfully is. It is probably embarrassing. Some of your peers or colleagues might lose some respect for you.  You might even be ashamed. These are all unpleasant but not fatal. And in fact, they are all recoverable. You will get over your embarrassment. As long as you act with dignity and are sure to perform respectably in the future, you will earn again the respect of your colleagues and peers. And you behavior now will help you to re-establish your self-respect.

 

Many mistakes are like a storm in a teacup.

These are 3 ways to rally yourself around.

Refocus and stay busy

A useful method to keep yourself from obsession is to stay busy being productive on other projects. Now is a good time to spring clean or exercise or finally start writing that novel. Keep your mind actively engaged on other productive activities. A by-product of this is that you feel proud that you have accomplished things even during this difficult time, which will act as a positive counterpoint for any self-deprecating thoughts.

Don’t define yourself by this one mistake

The fact that you made a mistake does not negate all the accomplishments and successes you have achieved. Under no circumstances must you use negative vocabulary. Be very careful not to identify yourself with the incident. Instead of saying “I am a loser”, say “I am a usually capable person who made a mistake but is doing what is necessary to rectify it and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.” And actively bring to mind all of your past accomplishments and success. Dwell on them. Remind yourself that you are also a successful productive person.

This too shall pass

Remind yourself that while this is a difficult time in your life, it shall pass. A year from now things will be much improved because you are taking steps to ensure that they will. Remind yourself that you want to look back on this challenging time and be proud of how you handled the situation.  

Only those who are asleep make no mistakes.
Ingvar Kamprad

   Listen  to these two contrasting songs--Gary Allan and Nusrat Fatah Ali Khan...
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