Bhai Phonta

The Bengali loves Bhai Phonta. Ostensibly, it is an occasion where the sister gives a "phonta" ( a chandan or sandalwood paste circular fingertip impression) on the forehead of the brother, and blesses him with grass seeds, so that the Yama(harbinger of death and evil) is kept at bay.

This is followed by food (there is hardly any Bengali function without food at the end!!)--mainly sweets and a lunch or dinner at home or outside.So two days after Kali Puja or Diwali, brothers dressed in finery land up at the sister's house to do the needful.

 

This festival somehow replenishes the Sibling relationships. It revives memories of a childhood spent together, schoolbooks, Enid Blyton, games on the rooftop, secretly shared achar and potato chops, confidences, parental policies and their unfairness, and later on for advice, assurance and a place to go to where you can stop playing roles.

The empathy, understanding,communication never wanes. There may be bouts of misunderstanding, of sentiments not really appreciated, prolonged absences--but picking up the threads are as easy as always.

Common memories are recalled, specially of parents who have departed, of relatives no more with us. The weddings, the birthdays, the trips, the escapades, the simple pleasures of life relived and recreated for a magical day, at least.

Bhai Phonta is special to all sisters and brothers. So it was also, this time.

Amar Vitor Bahire ...